my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
