Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
