SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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