Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
