the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
