JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
