it was like eating out sand paper
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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