she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
