Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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