do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
