just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
