What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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