why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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