Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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