You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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