Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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