i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
