I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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