I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
