me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He felt like a one man threesome
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
