Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
