shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
