you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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