If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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