Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
