wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
