you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
