I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
