Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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