do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
