The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
