I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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