Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Of course I have a pirate flag
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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