I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
