So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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