he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
