New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
