She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
