Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
