Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
