just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
