NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Someone came in the potted fern
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
