I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
