my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
