Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
