The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
