k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
