i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
