kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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