and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
